Actions Speak Loud, Words Do Too

Often times we hear the phrase "words speak loud, actions speak louder."  It's true, you should back up your words with the simultaneous action.  However, sometimes words need to follow the action that happens first.

Mental health is a serious and rising issue.  Although there are many, many factors to the cause of this, words can be a culprit.

Parents will provide for their children, meet all their needs, but still fail to say "I love you" or "I'm proud of you."  Couples will get into a disagreement and then resolve the issue, but still fail to say "I'm sorry."  We're quick to criticize others and tell them everything they are doing wrong, but fail to acknowledge and verbally say what they are doing right.

Words have power.  Words have substance.   Words can heal.

We have a strict vocabulary in our house.  There are lots of things we do not say simply because they are not nice and there is no reason for them to be said.  There are millions of words to use in place of something that sounds inappropriate.  I always ask the kids "is it positive, encouraging, or uplifiting?"

It's easy to fail with our words.  It's easy to be frustrated or angered and something unkind comes out of our mouths or we show it in our body language.  We're all human and imperfect.  So, we have to be even more conscious of our actions and our words.  I learned years ago when I started teaching about the "sandwich method." Say something positive, then a constructive criticism, and then something positive again.  It definitely works.

I am an observer (as most therapists are) and I can tell when someone is insincere in their words or actions.  I have heard kinds words, but not seen it followed with kind actions. I have observed someone's demeanor change when they are put down and told how terrible they are.  I have also observed someone's demeanor change when they are encouraged or uplifted.  I have worked with children that have been abused, not just physically, but also verbally.  If that's all they ever hear, will that cycle be broken when they have their own kids?

Use positive words.  Follow up with positive actions.  Use positive actions.  Follow up with positive words.