I'm finally in school full-time, on campus, and working my way towards that degree.
These weeks have flown by, but it's been spent trying to find a balance between everything. Music is a skill you have to acquire. Then, you just keep building on it. There's never any down time. You are constantly practicing or memorizing. When the next semester begins, it's going to pick up right where you left off this semester. The first couple weeks were really tough and I was on the verge of tears all the time. I'm actually surprised I didn't have a meltdown at one point.
However, I kept praying and praying and praying for God to help me on this journey. I needed to feel some peace and calm. I needed to feel like I can move forward in this journey and know deep within my heart I was headed in the right direction.
Then, God showed me everything He has already done to pave the way for me.
Only a few months after, by faith, I made the decision to leave my job and attend school, Craig received a promotion. Along with his promotion came a raise in pay. And that raise covered everything I would no longer be earning at my job.
Just over a month before school was to start, Craig's car died. It was old and lived many years, but it meant we had to have another car payment again with a car purchase. A couple weeks after Craig bought his car, he received another raise, covering the amount of the car payment.
When God reminded me of what He had already done, it eased my spirit. God was not going to bring me this far and then leave me. I am continuously on a spiritual journey and this would simply be a new part of it. I pray every morning, dedicating each day to God. I pray for peace in all of my classes and for my anxiety to disappear (anxiety comes upon me very easily). If I think about any part of school in the future and everything that needs to be accomplished, my heart immediately starts racing. I have to take it one day at a time.
Just recently, God showed me something else. He showed me that I can be a light in my school. I can still be a positive influence on my classmates and I can still show God's love through my actions and words. This journey is not just about me.
I love my classmates and new friends. We speak a language that is foreign to others. Since I literally spend all day in the same building, I see the same people over and over. We all have the same struggles with the same end goal. I make it a point to say hi to them or smile each time I see them. I hope they don't see me as just an "older" student, but rather as a peer that they can count on. I will say I've already had a few come to me and just spill their guts. All I can do is listen and give them an encouraging word.
So, as my spiritual and school goals are combined, all I can do is trust God, give each day to God, and let Him continue to guide me through this new stage of life.