This semester was hard.
REALLY, REALLY HARD!!!
It wasn't hard because I was finally a full-time student, taking 13 hours, while still trying to be Superwife and Supermom (an impossible task!). It was hard because I was studying music.
Ok, I think enough caps for now. But perhaps you get the gist of it.
So often it is assumed that music majors just play their instruments, learn some songs, and graduate. It is so much harder than that!!!
First of all, you have to audition to be accepted to the music program at TWU. I did that two years ago and they held a spot for me as I worked on my core classes.
You study and analyze music by breaking it down measure by measure, chord by chord. Why is this note allowed and why is this one not? You hear the music and must be able to exactly identify each note, each chord, each quality, each rhythm. You learn secondary instruments and must be very proficient in them. Then, you take the instrument you auditioned with and you practice. You practice until you have learned ways to use your instrument you never thought possible. You practice knowing that you must constantly be striving for perfection, even though it seems so far out of reach. You practice and practice some more. You make sounds that turn into beautiful music and share it before your peers and your professors. You eat, sleep, and breathe music. Most often, dreams are filled with music.
And you repeat this routine.
Every. Single. Day.
I wish I could say I'm exaggerating, but I assure you I am not. Craig can also assure you, I am not. He was the one to always hear my complaints, my "I can't do this", my "Why am I doing this?", and knew my grumpiness would somewhat dissipate when a week of testing was completed. Often times, I was ready to have meltdowns and just cry it out. I got frustrated and so often wondered what had I gotten myself into?!
Honestly, I love my university. The professors are wonderful and they truly want every student to succeed. I've emailed each of my music professors at least once when I wasn't quite understanding the assignment. I don't ever hesitate to ask questions. I've made some really great friends that I hope are in it for the long haul with me. Sadly, some of my friends found music to be just too hard and are switching their majors. I also usually forget how much older I am until one of them mentions their age or I mention when I first went to college over 16 years ago, the internet barely existed. However, there are other non-traditional students that I have become close to and we lean on each other. Everyone is really supportive because we know we are all in this together.
My family has been such an amazing support system. Craig juggled his schedule to work with mine each week so someone would always be available for the kids and their activities. My poor kids would ask when I would be done with my homework and my reply was always "when I graduate." As much as I was focused on school, I tried my hardest to be at every school function, every baseball game (often with homework in hand), and spent time with each of them. I especially made sure Craig and I had our monthly dates, our deep discussions, and supported him with his professional and personal goals.
It was a tough semester, but I made it. I worked really hard in every single class and made a 4.0!! I have a long road of school still ahead of me, but I will do it. One semester at a time. Music is beautiful and studying it only enhances my appreciation for it.
This school journey has included lots of prayer and increased my faith. I certainly could not do this on my own strength. It has always been about God's timing. I have put my full trust in Him and obeyed when he told me to "Go!" Everyone tells me when this is over, it will all be worth it. I am fully believing in that and feel that I'm truly doing what God has called me to do.